"Firebird" by Erté

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© 2018 Pamela MacCarthy


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© 2018 Pamela MacCarthy

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Photo: Michio Yves Ueda


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“ Women Who Run
With The Wolves ”

Clarissa Pinkola Estés

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Wednesday, May 28, 2003  
A white tornado has just passed through my house...
And, a very early one at that.
Woke up with a fire 'neath my undercarriage this morning- did laundry , vacuuming, and washing of dishes- this way when I say I want to come home to a house the way I left it, it won't be an outlandish request...

Getting prepared for my third and final weekend at "Tableaux Lounge".
I am prepacking my weekend suitcase- I look forward to my weekend "retreat".

Oh, I almost forgot to mention- I cut my hair. And permed it too. A medium length bob, with a beautiful soft wave in it- something very classic, almost like a flapper. It's my "dare to be me" look- I simply can't stand the "look" that is so popular now- and it's everywhere, everyone has it- the razor hacked- looks like dead ends- but it's been purposely cut to look that way- look .
I opted out of the "trend" and went this way...

" I'm no body's wife, and GOD, I love my life- and ALL THAT JAZZ! "

Till next time... 'Mela

10:06 AM

Sunday, May 25, 2003  
Well I'm home after weekend #2.

I had the greatest time, really...
The weather is starting to be nice and breezy at night, and the place is always busy where I sing.
I sang a song for a couple who were married for 2 years, they were celebrating their anniversary, but also the guy was returning from active duty in Iraq- he's a navy pilot.
It's kind of special to sing a song for this kind of occasion, I almost felt like a USO girl...

Met some new friends, and a few musicians...
The "Tokyo Weekender" came by to check out the place, and me.
Some very dear friends stopped by to visit me, and the pianist I work with is just so easy to be around- his playing compliments me, and he is good company on this gig.
I am thankful...
All in all, a good weekend.

After returning home, hugs to my son, doing household shopping, and laundry, I am now at my computer getting nice and cozy with this blog...

Did ya miss me?

Till next time... 'Mela

4:43 PM

Wednesday, May 21, 2003  
The sun is out, at last!
I thought the rainy season was upon us, really!
Although I do enjoy a dark cloudy day, when they start to become regular it starts to get me down.
It's funny how environment affects a person.
When I lived in L.A. the sunny weather was ominous at times... but I did so much enjoy the beach!

Today I'm gearing up for my next weekend.
I know when this gig is through I will miss it. It's like that when you almost grow accustomed...
I remember the gig I did with Mr. Nobuo Hara and the Sharps and Flats Big Band- we rehearsed so often, all parts orchestrated , and it was DOWN. One nights' performance, and blammo- back to S A M O...

But for now, I am going to enjoy the present.
Sunny weather and all.


Till next time! 'Mela

12:18 PM

Sunday, May 18, 2003  
Home at last.

One weekend under my belt. I was a Hiro-o girl for a little while...

Met some nice people, both fellow employees, and paying customers.
Teamed up with a pianist I haven't seen in a long time- it was a good experience.

After this past weekend, I can know a little bit more about how to act next weekend- especially not to overpack, because basically when I get all excited about a new gig, I really have to fight the urge to take everything under the sun along with me, because that's the same stuff I have to lug on home on a reality-bites Sunday afternoon...

I must have cut a dashing figure, me with my small suitcase on wheels, with a music case, make up box, back pack, etc, rolling on the down the hill while the rest of the world is still asleep, [or should be!]
Nothing quite like the sound of moving wheels over cobblestones...

Anyway, I'm home.

Gave my boy a hug, he was so glad to see me too... [Sarcastic pause, waiting for the rimshot from the drums...]
Truly, he did laundry and also some light cooking while I was away. An educational time for us both...

Ba doo Bop...

So now I'm chillin' frosty-

Till later dudes and dudettes... 'Mela

5:35 PM

Wednesday, May 14, 2003  
Its a new day...

I've got preparations done for my new gig. I have made some progress on my painting, but alas, the finished canvas is still further on down the road.

Azaleas abound, and soon, the rice fields will be flooded.
Although with every passing year, the fields do grow smaller and smaller, only to be replaced with ticky-tacky apartment buildings.

I remember when I first came here, 12 years ago, the dirt roads, and the rice fields.
So totally new and strange to me...
During the time they were flooded with water,
I would pretend the bikepath was a causeway of some sort- like the seven mile causeway that links the Florida Keys, and if I were to lose my balance and slip off the path, sharks waited beneath.

A game of drama, with a cast of 20 billion tiny little frogs, as the [shark] chorus-
created especially by my imagination...

Now, the fields have dwindled down.
But the kids are still out there looking for polly wogs and even though the streams are now lined with concrete, I think they still have some success.

The farmer that I painted in his daikon patch, is going to flood his field soon, I guess-
I see the preparation taking place.
It's funny, we all have our gigs, our preparations to make.

Tomorrow I will march on down the hall with my briefcase of music, and my suitcase
of memories, ready to add a few new ones to the mix-

I have been living on an early to bed early to rise clock.
Now I'll have to shift over to a true jazzers' watch.

Flexible me.

Till next time, 'Mela

7:25 AM

Saturday, May 10, 2003  

How I long to be-
somewhere else...
I would love to get on a plane, with a "power" suitcase, and disappear without a trace- for a week or twenty.

The status quo has got me down.
I feel like a spot on the carpet of the universe,
and the hoover has just been plugged in.

Where would I go? A beach? Possibly, I have this vision in my head, of an island with horses, mountains, and lots of secluded space- where I don’t have to hear any language at all.

I'm tired of languages- all in all I think there's a lot to be said for silence.

No more cake-ki. It's C A K E, OK?
Make a friggin' note of it.

It's THAT time of the year again, the restless and angst ridden season...
Right before the mosquitoes, humidity, and the gulping noises of beer commercials...

It moves in ebbs and flows-

One day can be peaceful, and the weather fair and breezy, with the stupidity level needle never rising much above the center.
Then the next- a day in Dante's Inferno- complete with ramen pizzas and formaldehyde smelling pushy old farts in suits with newspapers with big boobed doe eyed sailor suited floozie's at 16.
Tired of the same 'ole fish bowl madness!
And there ain't no damned roller coaster gonna change it.

I want to go sit in Yankee stadium and chew on nitrate infested Yankee dogs till I puke, and root root root for the home damn team.
Baseball in New York isn't just a rah rah go team go kinda thing-
Its a communal event best described as war without bloodshed.
Complete primal therapy.
I once asked a N.Y cabbie why they had baseball anyway- he said: "So people don't kill each other."
New Yawk Shitty!

You know the drill: 14 hours worth of sittin' in a tin can , in an economy seat that feels like a goddamned Woolworth girdle, that if you try to unhinge your ass from out that thing, you’re definitely gonna loose something...

But I’d do it to get my ass up on off of here.

Who decides what banner ads will be placed above our blogs? I put up a lovely piece of my artwork, write a credible, ranting but intelligent entry only to have a banner ad that says :
KILL SKUNK ODORS... what is this all about?
Does anyone know how this works?

Till next time ‘Mela

3:57 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2003  

" It's a hard
It's a hard
It's a hard
It's a hard
It's a hard rain gonna fall "...
-Bob Dylan

Some days I can spit nails, and this is one of them.

I got 20 million errands to do, but the rain is like a deluge, and there aren't umbrellas big enough to keep the rain from falling on me...

If I get one more advertising email from a certain trumpet player, I simply don't know what I'll do.

The outrage of a congested inbox...

I'm going to appear at a brand new venue one week from today, called "Tableaux Lounge"
in Daikanyama.
It's a cigar- wine- jazz bar... I don't smoke or drink - but sing I DO,
and I WILL...

At last, At last... the rain's let up...

Till next time 'Mela

11:56 AM

Saturday, May 03, 2003  

A lovely afternoon, after a great night!

A lot of my friends came to see me perform last night at JAZZ SPOT "J". Me and the fellas did a great show, which I had recorded.
I tried out a few new tunes, one of them being a favorite of mine," Do you miss New York" written by Dave Frishberg...
Replace L.A. with Tokyo, and there you have my situation...

I miss New York, alright.
I love the ashtrays they sell at JFK that have this piece of apple-logic inscribed:

Anyhoo, Kenji, Kamitori-san, Fujiko-san, and everyone who was there,and especially Koda-san, whose hospitality is one of the reasons his club is one of my “regulars”- thanks, for a great night-

pics to follow...

I look forward to a short break before starting up my next gig.
My canvas beckons...

Till next time... 'Mela

4:47 PM

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